Bye bye baby, hello toddler...

Well, tonight I had a bit of a sad epiphany. While watching the youngest run around the back garden playing & subsequently climbing all over the place in the bedroom, I came to realise that he's not a baby anymore. Over the past few weeks, he's totally outgrowing his babyness & heading rapidly towards toddlerhood on rollerskates. Not literally, that would be a recipe for disaster.

The eldest will be starting primary school after the summer holidays of 2014 as well, how scary is that? Time seems to be passing faster than I can keep up with & I find it really unsettling that my babies are growing up so fast. I'm so proud of how they're growing but yet sad at the same time of what's being left behind.

To be honest, there's not much to say today. The boys were out for the afternoon & the kids were at school then playing outside after so it's been relatively uneventful apart from one thing. While the boys were gone, I decided a nap was in order so I lay up on the couch & drifted off, only to be woken about 20 minutes later in a state of panic. 10 year old sister is having a borderline panic attack & totally freaked me out. My eyes shot open expecting to see the bloody house on fire & she's sitting rambling on, something about a picture, The Hunger Games, school, library. Totally not following, I stared at her dumbfounded until she finally shushed up. This little snippet of drama came courtesy of her "needing" photos printed for her "talk" tomorrow in school. Now leaving this until 4.50pm when the library shuts at 5.00pm on a Wednesday in itself is pretty daft. Coupled with the fact she could have told me this 3 days ago & the fact that this is the first time I've heard that she needs bloody props. When I was at school, you got a night to think of what to say & to make up a card of bullet points then got shoved in front of 29 other kids, almost weeping to talk about what you done at the bloody weekend, not organise props & set out a presentation about x, y, z!!!

I really missed the boys today & it was strange not having them around. I must be some sort of masochist because I hear so many people saying they're glad the kids are out because they can do whatever & have peace etc but I honestly feel like I'm missing a limb when they're not here. Probably because normally the youngest is hanging off of one of my lower limbs for a large portion of the day. I've come to realise that children are my life now. My day is entirely child-centric & you know what, as much as 5 minutes peace would be glorious every now & again, I really don't mind. I'm pretty happy. I love my children & as far as I can tell they love me. I might not be the perfect parent in the eyes of society but as long as my kids think I'm their perfect Mummy & they're truly happy then that's all I can hope for.

Maybe that's not a good thing, I've seen articles about how Mums need to be themselves & remove themselves from being Mum but you know what, that's what I *am*! I am a Mum & I'm thankful to be in this position. I don't need to be someone else because the girl from before is still right here. Granted I might not get into a drunken state & dance half-naked on a Friday night thinking I look the shizz when really I look like a complete tit but I'm still here. When everyone realises that pre-mum & Mum aren't oil & water, a nasty combination that are impossible to combine but a yummy cocktail (Cheeky Vimtos anyone?) where everything works together to make a lovely, exciting (but sometimes lethal lol) product, we'll be a much happier bunch :)!

- M

Note: I'm currently tee-total before anyone reports me to the authorities for gratuitous alcohol & parenting analogies!