Feeling some goopy love...

Messy play day today thanks to some goop! Grabbed a couple of boxes of cornflour & about half a litre of water & shoved the lot in a basin. Kids looked a bit confused to begin with to be honest as I think W was under the impression we were baking (I assume the 'flour' reference). So mixed it all up & I have to say I think I loved the stuff more than the boys did! W hasn't ever been one for enjoying having sticky hands so he got a bit squicked out when it started drying out on his hands & ran off to wash them. O on the other hand LOVED it. We sat for ages playing with the stuff but we made it a bit too runny so if anyone wants to try it, I'd advise using just slightly less than 500ml if using 2 boxes of cornflour. It was awesome all the same. We all got really messy & it was loads of fun.

Unfortunately during the goop process, a rather large burn I received yesterday (dumbass accident with some soup) started to burst & the blisters weeping. Having seen the nurse earlier on in the morning, I was told if such a thing were to happen to get back down there. So playtime screeched to a rather painful halt as I had half an hour to get both boys ready & get down to the doctors surgery. My darling baby was pissed & I mean seriously pissed (as you can see) that I had to take the basin away & wash us all up. He totally flipped & screamed the place down like a banshee. A rather stressful experience when your fiance & Mum are both sleeping for nightshifts (in different beds obviously, we're not THAT family). Thankfully, a mixture of boob & distraction managed to get us on the move & out the door.

A tip for goop cleanage would be don't try to wash it up with wet cloths as the cornflour just dries out again. We were out for about an hour & when we got back the full lot had dried & it was just cornflour left on the floor so it was easy enough to just sweep it all away.

(I'm fine by the way, arm is still intact & all safely packaged away.)

Aside from that, we've had a bit of a quiet one. The boys were angels all day, bless them (unless you count W's slow-as-treacle-running-off-a-cold-spoon walk up from the doctors in the pissing rain). It's days like this I look back & feel really bad for moaning. They really are a pair of sweethearts for the most part. I hate that guilty feeling though, especially if you've told them off & then you're putting them to bed at night & see their wee faces as they sleep. Those moments make you realise just how much you love your children. Seeing them laying their sound asleep & feeling that aching feeling in your chest like your heart is going to explode! Totally didn't see that one coming when I was pregnant, the fact that you could love someone so much & happily give all if yourself to those little people. No matter how crappy things can get sometimes, your children really are a blessing & we should treat them as such. Sorry for getting a bit soppy there but I do feel a bit lovey dovey Mummy tonight... 

Let's see if it's all as lovey dovey 24 hours from now.

- M

Funny moment of the day came courtesy of the eldest coming parading downstairs in his pants & a set of neon pink patent heels. Strutting about the living room & posing all over the shop. Truly was a sight to behold!

Belly-ache & babywearing...

I'm so hungry. Like, seriously hungry. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this vegan diet. It's at a point where I'm convinced I can feel myself fading away slowly. On the upside, it does appear to be working. At the weekend we ended up having dinner with the in-laws but didn't contact ahead concerning the fact I was meat & dairy free. It was so good to eat meat properly again but painkillers were necessary. Later on that night, my Mum was ordering Chinese food so I decided I fancied some pancake rolls. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that there was meat in said pancake rolls. Cue me laying in the bath, rolling around like a harpooned whale in distress in tears, regretting ever eating those damn rolls. This thankfully is the last week of my elimination diet so hopefully we can get somewhere with the doctors. Never thought I'd be so excited to visit the GP!! I think I'll celebrate with a steak & a chocolate gateau!!

But no chocolate & steak tonight. Instead it's apples & oranges, cross stitch & telly. Old before my time? Possibly. But at least I'm at least halfway to happy.

This past few days since my last posting have been pretty non-eventful if I'm honest. Apart for some nice-ish weather on Friday, it's been pretty dull. Although I finally got a chance to take Ollie out in the sling properly on my back. The weathers always so miserable that we're wearing so many layers, I'd need a wrap 2 sizes bigger to be able to wrap us both together!!! It was strange though to see just how rare babywearing is in this area. People either looked totally confused or seemed really surprised & awed by it. The unfortunate thing is though, I kinda feel like I stick out like a sore thumb & for an anxiety sufferer that's not the most comfortable of situations. But the act of carrying in the sling itself is so awesome, I really have to do it more often. Ollie really seemed to enjoy the nursery run from a different perspective plus he was so happy snuggling into my back enjoying the sunshine. In fact, he was so happy, he wouldn't even accept the chocolate buttons I was trying to hand him over my shoulder. Definitely going to make a bigger effort when it comes to carrying when (IF) the weather brightens up in the summer. 

My mission before then is to buy myself a longer wrap & practise as many carries as possible so I can be a babywearing goddess in the summer, wearing nothing but a bikini & a toddler on my back. Probably look more like a pork roast with the strings done up too tight but in my head I'll totally look like a supermodel!!

No use thinking of sunshine though as unfortunately we have yet another week of rain ahead of us. All the outdoor activities I've been hoarding on Pinterest are bloody pointless now I'm back to square one trying to come up with some fabulous ideas of indoor activities to keep the monsters occupied. Wish me luck!!

- M

The day with the ants...

Ooh got a bit of catching up to do since I collapsed into a sleepy coma last night putting the boys to bed. I honestly could not bring myself to get back up again after nodding off taking them upstairs. Possibly because we had decided that it would be nice to have a shopping trip on a lovely sunny day with all 4 children. A typically terrifying experience for both my Mum & I but it was rather pleasant on the whole if I'm being totally honest. The only mishap I suppose we had was W deciding that a game of hide & seek in Primark would be the most fun thing in the world, which it might well have been for him but for myself, um... no. Definitely not!! Is there anything in the world more stressful than losing a child? Thankfully he popped his head out from a display of t-shirts before I managed to go into cardiac arrest and/or have a nervous breakdown so it was all good. Needless to say, we quickly finished our shopping trip & headed home with all 4 children & before all my hair went grey!!

This morning was the first day back at nursery & school after the long weekend. The school run isn't the most pleasant experience in the world anyway, getting 5 people ready, doing breakfasts, sorting lunches etc, but this morning proved a bit more trying than usual. First of all we got up & everyone got dressed & it seemed like we were off to a good start. But then it all came apart at the seams... my stomach started hurting. Now for any of you who aren't aware, the only way my stomach & back seem to get any relief during one of these episodes is by sitting & laying in a bath of roasting hot water. At 8am, this is 100% NOT convenient, especially when you have several people to get ready & escort to school. So I headed upstairs, clutching my stomach, knowing full well I had no time for a bath so I jumped in the shower & attempted, to no avail, to use the shower head to soothe the pain. By the time I got out, the toast had popped & gone cold, nobody thought to put anything ON the toast. So all children had breakfast & headed up to brush teeth & get hair fixed. Just about ready to go, all we needed were jackets & lo & behold W needed the toilet. So I ushered him upstairs & told him to hurry up & do a wee. But no, of course, he needed something else. So he sat on the toilet for over 15 minutes & did nothing, NOTHING, not even a bloody pee!! Then came the wasp at the front door, me screaming & running through to the back door (major wasp phobia by the way). But we made it there in the end, albeit late.

Then I lapsed into a coma again with the youngest when we got home from the school run, mother-in-law called to say she wanted to pick W up from nursery so I knew I could drift off for a while without panicking I'd miss W at nursery. So we got up & I was overcome with boredom & after exchanging a few messages the plan was to visit K & her son. Of course lunch time was first so beans on toast were on the cards. Allowing the youngest to feed himself is normally a bit of a messy event anyway but oh my God, the beans were *EVERYWHERE*. The spoon was cast aside & he was raiding through them with his hands (because, come on, who DOESN'T love playing in cold beans?), they were in his hair, all over his face, all down his t-shirt. So I managed to wipe all the bean juice out of his hair & off his face but had to change his t-shirt. On the way to K's in the taxi, it became apparent that my child's jeans are covered in bean juice & it's too late to turn back so as usual, my children end up looking like tramps!! So after a nice visit, chatting & cooing over K's adorable & cheery wee darling, I was prepared for the nice atmosphere to continue when I got home but it was not to be. The kids had arrived home from school & holy shit there were a few ants managed to get in the living room. Now I'm talking like 10 max which probably got in when the front door was left open but the wa y our darling 10yr old drama queen was performing, you'd think there were a thousand man-sized vicious, rabid mutant ants cornering her in the living room. The screams, the chaos, the drama! Peaceful talking gave way to angry voice & I'm ashamed to say it... I screamed at her. I'm not going to lie, I was fuming at the carry on that went on this afternoon but I'm still pissed at myself 6hr later for shouting at her the way I did. Yet again though, we're our biggest critic. We apologised to each other & sang karaoke to make up for how we made each other feel. Respect is a two way street & we need to earn it from one another not just from child to adult. Losing it on either side isn't productive whatsoever. But we made it through the day. Not surprised that there was another event which will stand out in my mind as "the day with Ellie & the ants" but I still love them all to pieces & wouldn't change them for the world. - M

Stomach pains & facial injuries...

Oh lord, a rather unpleasant evening culminating in me spending my night in the bath attempting to soothe the horrific pain attacking my upper abdomen, all the way round to my back. Long story but basically leads me to a dairy & meat free diet. You don't realise how much you appreciate lasagne until you can't eat it in all it's glory. Picked up a lentil lasagne recipe earlier but to be honest I don't have high hopes. After going dairy free when the eldest was a baby I mistakenly thought it would be easier this time around but I tell you what, it's bloody harder! The sweet temptation of that chocolate biscuit in the cupboard, the lure of the beauteous mac & cheese bubbling away in the oven, ooft it's almost impossible to resist. But alas, I mist. I only hope when the mystery of the invisible knife tearing away at my innards is located, diagnosed & removed, that I can resume my wondrous ventures into all manner of cheesiness & chocolatey desires. But for now, it's dairy free, vegetarian, hot water & co-codamol to see me through until that glorious day.

Aside from that, the experimental Minecraft free day (I hate that damn game) went fairly well. Kids spent most of the day outdoors with no arguments over mines, creepers, horses & whatever other balls is in the game. We had a few hiccups along the way as expected. Spectacularly, 10yr old sister bursts in the back door & stands howling in the kitchen, clutching her face as if she has a horrific GSW & screaming to the point I was concerned my glasses were on danger of smashing. So o head into the kitchen expecting another scratch or bump to accompany an overreaction, when she moves her hand & holy shit, her face is swollen & already starting to bruise. Cue serious feeling of guilt for assuming the worst. So I rush for a cold damp flannel & some arnica cream while she recites the rather bizarre event which resulted in her injury. Apparently, 8yr old brother was swinging higher than usual on the swing & was attempting to kick the washing line (as you do) & his shoe came flying off, rebounded off the washing line & smashed her in the face. For a start I really want to know what possessed him to kick the line in the first place & how hard could one possibly have to swing for ones shoe to come off ones foot? Thankfully, with my exceptional quick thinking & immediate treatment she remarkably hasn't came out on a rather large nasty bruise!! So for any mums with accident prone children who always seem to be covered in bruises, invest in some arnica cream. I think I got it for about a fiver in Holland & Barratt & it bloody works.

So in the end it's been quite a nice day kidwise & I've loved seeing them out in the fresh air instead of goggle eyed in front of one of the most boring looking games I've ever laid eyes on. It's all good & hopefully it will continue.

- M

Swing parks, shaving cream & social anxiety...

Well, it's been a busy couple of days. Between the other half injuring his ankle & feeling a bit rubbish myself, haven't really sat down to write to be honest.

Over the past few days, although it's been a bit hectic, we've had a pretty good time. For a start we had a playdate with a Mummy friend. Was refreshing actually sitting talking to someone over the age of 10 for any length of time but strange talking to someone I didn't have to tell off at any given point!! Started off a pretty dull day so was worried it was going to rain but by the time K got here, it had brightened up a bit. We decided to take the boys to the swing park, had a bit of a gab & the boys seemed to have fun. Although I must admit, there was a slight hiccup in the end after such a pleasant afternoon. W had developed a bit of an unhealthy obsession with K & decided that home time was the perfect time to start a lovely tantrum involving tears, 'you don't love mes' that horrid whingy voice all us Mums love & making me feel so guilty that I'm prepared to tattoo 'bad mummy' on my forehead. After some cajoling, the promise of another visit & a piggy back we finally got home in one piece.

After having some grown up time that afternoon it made me realise that my days are so child-focused that I have next to no adult interaction apart from via social networking. I don't know if that's healthy or if it's just one of those things that happen when you have these little monsters we call our children. Especially for those of us who don't feel as if we really 'fit in'? I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb when in social situations & especially when there are strangers involved. It's one personality trait I really despise about myself, the shyness, the anxiety, the inability to interact & have the confidence to approach other people. I hate that from an outsiders point of view that I probably come across as ignorant or unapproachable but I don't think it's exactly appropriate to wear a massive 'I HAVE ANXIETIES' sticker on my forehead. Standing like a spare prick at a wedding at nursery time probably looks a bit dodgy when everyone else seems to relaxed & socialising with one another. Not going to lie, I do get pretty jealous of other people who can just breeze into any situation & just slot right in & get into conversation etc. After speaking to my Mum later on that night, she made me realise that I spend so much time complaining & getting upset about my social anxieties but don't really push myself into doing something about them. And she has a point, because although I have attended CBT & started doing every day regular things without a thought anymore, I still haven't made that big push. So I solemnly swear, here today, with everyone watching, that I am going to take a step forwards. I don't know exactly what that step is yet but watch this space. M is booting her anxiety right up the arse once & for all. Just you wait & see!!

So the next day, pretty bored, having a Google for inspiration as to what to do, I stumbled across shaving foam painting from The Imagination Tree.

We already had some paints & paintbrushes in the house so it just cost us £1 for a tin of shaving foam & the kids were happy for aaaaages! We just started off by squirting the foam into paint pots & swirled in some paint with the handle of the brush. Bit messy because it's starts to foam up & overspill.

Both the boys had a great time with the foam paint. For O, he loved exploring it with his fingers as opposed to the brushes & seemed to really like the feeling of the foam between his fingers. W on the other hand, really liked being able to paint himself & all over the walls without making a mess & Mummy being a bit peeved. All in all, it was a roaring success & the two of them ended up in a right state & had loads of fun. And it only took about 30 secs to rinse off both children & the bath at the same time. Definite win!

So that brings us to today, a pretty boring day, spent mostly indoors. However we did have an indoor picnic which the kids seemed to find rather awesome. Most exciting part of the day was playing with Moondough in the bath & realising that the bath is now my favourite play area because we can make as much mess as possible & it only takes seconds to tidy up!! I don't know if it's genius or sure laziness...

- M

Bye bye baby, hello toddler...

Well, tonight I had a bit of a sad epiphany. While watching the youngest run around the back garden playing & subsequently climbing all over the place in the bedroom, I came to realise that he's not a baby anymore. Over the past few weeks, he's totally outgrowing his babyness & heading rapidly towards toddlerhood on rollerskates. Not literally, that would be a recipe for disaster.

The eldest will be starting primary school after the summer holidays of 2014 as well, how scary is that? Time seems to be passing faster than I can keep up with & I find it really unsettling that my babies are growing up so fast. I'm so proud of how they're growing but yet sad at the same time of what's being left behind.

To be honest, there's not much to say today. The boys were out for the afternoon & the kids were at school then playing outside after so it's been relatively uneventful apart from one thing. While the boys were gone, I decided a nap was in order so I lay up on the couch & drifted off, only to be woken about 20 minutes later in a state of panic. 10 year old sister is having a borderline panic attack & totally freaked me out. My eyes shot open expecting to see the bloody house on fire & she's sitting rambling on, something about a picture, The Hunger Games, school, library. Totally not following, I stared at her dumbfounded until she finally shushed up. This little snippet of drama came courtesy of her "needing" photos printed for her "talk" tomorrow in school. Now leaving this until 4.50pm when the library shuts at 5.00pm on a Wednesday in itself is pretty daft. Coupled with the fact she could have told me this 3 days ago & the fact that this is the first time I've heard that she needs bloody props. When I was at school, you got a night to think of what to say & to make up a card of bullet points then got shoved in front of 29 other kids, almost weeping to talk about what you done at the bloody weekend, not organise props & set out a presentation about x, y, z!!!

I really missed the boys today & it was strange not having them around. I must be some sort of masochist because I hear so many people saying they're glad the kids are out because they can do whatever & have peace etc but I honestly feel like I'm missing a limb when they're not here. Probably because normally the youngest is hanging off of one of my lower limbs for a large portion of the day. I've come to realise that children are my life now. My day is entirely child-centric & you know what, as much as 5 minutes peace would be glorious every now & again, I really don't mind. I'm pretty happy. I love my children & as far as I can tell they love me. I might not be the perfect parent in the eyes of society but as long as my kids think I'm their perfect Mummy & they're truly happy then that's all I can hope for.

Maybe that's not a good thing, I've seen articles about how Mums need to be themselves & remove themselves from being Mum but you know what, that's what I *am*! I am a Mum & I'm thankful to be in this position. I don't need to be someone else because the girl from before is still right here. Granted I might not get into a drunken state & dance half-naked on a Friday night thinking I look the shizz when really I look like a complete tit but I'm still here. When everyone realises that pre-mum & Mum aren't oil & water, a nasty combination that are impossible to combine but a yummy cocktail (Cheeky Vimtos anyone?) where everything works together to make a lovely, exciting (but sometimes lethal lol) product, we'll be a much happier bunch :)!

- M

Note: I'm currently tee-total before anyone reports me to the authorities for gratuitous alcohol & parenting analogies!

Sunshine & stories...

Nice sunny day in Scotland again today. Was extremely chuffed being able to get out with the boys again & get plenty of fresh air. Started off in the back garden kicking a ball around & playing on the swings when inspiration hit me, chalk stories. Asked the 3yr old if he fancied getting the chalks out again & he was more than happy to oblige. So we sprinted around the front & got started. I drew a picture of a lady & we began writing our own chalk story. We both took turns adding pieces onto the story with new drawings. We ended up with a pretty great story about a princess, a dragon, a castle & an evil witch who turns princesses into bunnies...

The poor bunny Princess Mummy was turned into.

Our story with our princess, dragon, witch & castle.

To be honest, it was a pretty fun & quiet day on the whole & I don't really have much to say tonight. Which is weird because usually there's some disaster to share. 

What I did however realise, is it's only a short time until the summer holidays. I solemnly swore that this summer, we are not making the same mistake we made last year. Granted, the weather wasn't particularly nice but we spent most of our time indoors, watching TV & not doing anything particularly fantastic. But this year, things are gonna change. After making a conscious effort to try & do more screen free time I realised this can't be temporary. Whether it's days out, days playing board games, playing in the garden or doing something else fun, this summer has to be fun, family-orientated & totally freaking awesome!!

- M

Funny moment of the day came courtesy of the eldest on his way home from nursery this afternoon with his epic Star Wars spelling skills. "Mummy, cream soda sounds like Master Yoda." You really had to be there to appreciate how funny it was.

Dough, wraps & little white lies...

Well, first nursery run after the 3yr olds poorly spell last week. Ended up so early we went into the room too soon & got asked to leave & wait in the cloakroom. Oops.

The end product of our clay models from yesterday turned out pretty well. Everyone had fun & we were left with rather cool keepsakes to hold on to.

 W decided his smiley face was best black & yellow & has decided that although intended for Daddy, he's planning on taking it to nursery tomorrow to show his teacher. Be prepared for tears if the bloody thing breaks.

Check out the epic moustache on my rather fetching paperweight. Now *that* is a tash & a half.

Ellie decided to mix up her own colours as she preferred pastels & Charlie decided on bright & fabulous.

In all, it ended up a fail-win if there is such a thing. Yeah the clay models might not have ended up exactly what we had hoped for but we all worked together & the kids had a blast.



Between nursery run & painting, we had a borderline nervous breakdown in the middle. I bought a wrap after selling my Close Parent carrier (Ollie was getting too big for the stretch) & decided that I was going to brave a back carry up to the nursery to pick up Wilbur. Not a good idea to decide on such a thing 20 minutes before due to pick said child up. After faffing around, finally getting him on my back & done up properly, pleased as punch that we were ready to go... the damn tails weren't long enough to tie. Sweating & out of puff, on the verge of a full toddler-style tantrum, it was time to admit defeat & put him in the pushchair. In the midst of all this, I neglected to keep an eye on the clock, ending in a power walk, partway uphill in rather blustery winds with the rain threatening just around the corner. Not a good look turning up at nursery looking like you have a birds nest on your head, sweat pouring down my face, breathing like I've just ran a marathon. Attractive.

Moral of that story, practise wrapping more thoroughly before acting like a smart ass & thinking you're 'the shit' when really you're just shit >_< (YouTube videos on different carries are definitely the way to go & make sure the carry you're doing is compatible with the length of wrap you're using!)

Then, whilst making dinner for the kids, I notice the baby is behind me & is way too quiet. Now I don't know if any of you have had any experience with Moon Sand or Moon Dough but it's an acquired taste. You either love it or you hate it. Well, up until tonight, I damn well hated the stuff. It's messy & a total pain in the arse. To the point where we stashed it beside the fridge out of sight of the children until the end of time. BUT since the youngest has eyes like a hawk & Inspector Gadget-esque extendable arms, he espied it while my back was turned. Turning slowly, unsure as to whether I really want to see what's going on behind me, I found this:



Now, my first reaction in my head was 'F************K', my second was to usher him into the living room & hoover/sweep the lot up. But I thought to myself, what the hell are you doing? It's not doing any harm, it's a bit of mess that can be cleaned up, stop being such a miserable cow & join in.

So it turns out that Moon Dough is actually kinda awesome. We were able to mould it into balls that were super hard & we could throw off the walls etc but crumbled into nice fluffy dough with agile little fingers pressing their way inside. Also, with such a young child, it's pretty hard to keep doughs etc of different colours separate so it all inevitably ended up smooshed together. But instead of going mucky brown like Playdoh, because it's a grainy, sandy texture, it all swirled together & made a rather awesome multicoloured swirly material. Ultimately, after dismissing it so suddenly at Christmas 2012, I can now admit that actually, it's pretty awesome. He ended up occupied, the two of us playing together for a whole half hour on the one activity. A record for the most easily distracted child who has ever walked the earth. For any parents contemplating purchasing it, I totally get your hesitation but if you don't mind clearing up a bit of mess, go for it. Was easily scooped up, put away & swept up any straggly bits laying around.

On the whole, a relatively quiet day from what I'm used to so a welcome moment of tranquillity in what's typically madness & mayhem.

- M

PS Amusing moment of the day would have to be lying to the eldest about his baby brother peeing on his bed so he wouldn't throw a wobbly at bedtime. I'm going to hell. For the record, I didn't make him sleep in it & wasn't a total lie, I just said the bed was wet because Ollie sat on it once we came out the bath. He's currently curled up in the other bed blissfully unaware of the atrocity that his poor matress experienced, but I feel rather guilty for my little white lie. All to save myself having to get the baby back to sleep incase his brother's potential drama king reaction woke him up *hangs head in shame*

Modelling clay fail & pointless tantrums on a lovely spring afternoon...

Woke up this morning after my epiphany yesterday about getting out more & it was raining. Fantastic... 

Kids were pretty disappointed that the afternoon at the swing park was cancelled but we decided to do some crafts. We settled, after a tough debate, on modelling. So I hunted online looking for recipes for home-made modelling clay. There were so many recipes with so many different ingredients so I gave up & made it up as I went along, a bit of this & a bit of that. So I mucked around a bit until I got the perfect texture as follows:

1 cup of boiling water + 1 cup of salt + 1 1/3 cup of flour

Kneaded it for about 5 minutes until it all gathered up into a dough. Not too dry, not too sticky. Perfect. It moulded really well, held together & didn't get all over the place while we were using it. 

So divided it amongst four of us & had to decide what each of us were going to make. My plan was for a heart shaped paperweight (with a rather fabulous moustache my darling son helped me make), the 10yr olds plan was for a wee heart shaped figurine type thing, 8yr old had people & animal figures in mind (namely a man with a hat, a goat & a chicken) & the 3yr old wanted a smile for his Daddy. Please excuse our makeshift mess mats, really must invest in some instead of looking like tramps on crafty days...

Unfortunately, after baking in the oven (140C for about an hour/hour & a half), it appears our clay models have risen. We used plain flour so I assumed this wouldn't happen. Cue a rather unhappy 10yr old girl on the brink of tears. We chopped the bottom of the base slightly to even it out but unfortunately it's a bit sticky in the middle so here's hoping that overnight it'll harden. So if anyone decides to use the recipe I used, don't. I'm clearly shit at making up my own crafting products so do yourself a favour & find a recipe from someone who actually has a clue as to what they're on about.

Onwards & upwards though as tomorrow it'll be time to paint them (& we all know how awesome it is clearing up after 4 kids painting, particularly when one of said children is a young toddler!!) & hope that the bottom of my darling sister's creation has dried or else it'll be WW3 tomorrow morning. Will update if she hasn't torn the house down around us!!

On the whole, it was a relatively peaceful day. Well, apart from a massive hormonal pre-teen tantrum over what I'm still not entirely sure. Apparently I was wrong about something & I appear to be the worst sister in the world worthy of some seriously bad-ass insults. Classics such as "Well you're a total liar then because it was clearly not like 10 minutes ago" (Fair enough about half an hour then) "Oh well it's like another 20 minutes, how stupid are you?" & (after being told that she was in the wrong for what she did) "Well you're just ugly." *minds blown*. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Just sayin'! Another day, another drama. Lemme tell you, if that's what a pre-teen girl is like, I'm glad I have boys! 

- M 

Oh & I must share a funny story before I go. Boys both fell asleep in our bed (we part-time cosleep with the youngest) as 3yr old wanted a cuddle as I was nursing the baby to sleep & conked out. Decided I would move the 3yr old later on once I was heading up to bed after doing the shop (online of course, I'm not THAT negligent) & left them sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.

About half an hour later, there's sobbing & hollering from the baby. I run upstairs, exasperated by the interruption from the intensely pleasurable meal planning, to find the 3yr old sound asleep with the baby half asleep attempting to latch on to his brother's nose & becoming pretty pissed off that it wasn't quite what he was looking for. Brilliant.

What's that yellow thing in the sky?

In a surprising turn of events, we woke up to a sunny Scotland this morning. So the plan was to get outside, play & get some much needed vitamin D & fresh air! While trying to come up with some fabulous game or crafty activity to do, it came to me that we never just go out to play any more without purpose. So we grabbed some street chalks, a ball & headed out. Unfortunately, the 8 year old brother was glued to the screen & we couldn't prise him away, so it was just the two boys & 10 year old sister for the afternoon.

Bamboozled by the mysterious fiery yellow ball in the sky, the boys seemed rather surprised to be ushered out the front door without full Arctic proof gear on.

So it started with a box of sidewalk chalks (we used crayola ones we managed to get for a bargain in a local shop) & a smile...

But apparently, said smile wasn't good enough as it wasn't anatomically correct...

... but in comes 3yr old to fix it...

At this point, 15 month old is more interested in digging about & pouring them onto the path...

... but eventually joined in the fun.

I actually remembered just how much fun it was just doing normal 'kid' things that we did when we were younger. But as an adult, realised that it's more than a bit of fun as we were counting, identifying different shapes, doing the alphabet & practising writing skills, so it wasn't just like an afternoon spent goggle-eyed in front of the pc or the PS3, we were all getting something out of it.

The rest of our time outside was spent on the trampoline, playing on swings & running around so hopefully some half decent sleep is on the cards (highly unlikely).

But it wasn't all without it's drama. Between a seriously mistimed fall (Ollie falling faced down just as I kicked the ball, connecting with his head), scaring the shit out of each other screaming (bloody bees), a near miss from faceplabting downstairs (prevented thanks to my epic catching skills) & trying to see who could consume the most bacteria (prize goes to Ollie putting a used dog toy in his mouth, note that we don't actually have a dog!!!!), we still had our moments. But where's the fun without some heartache?

In amongst games of hopscotch, drawing & copying letters etc, I realised that it had been ages since we had just been 'outside' with no toys, no gadgets brought from inside into the garden & just doing something exclusively together. Today, I made a promise to myself to get outside more, even if it's regular Scottish weather & we have to go out in hurricane & downpour proof clothing to jump in puddles. We spend way too much time indoors, way too much time on technology & too little time focused just on us with nothing else to think or worry about.

Technology, toys & gadgets have taken over & it's inevitable that we're going to get sucked in & at one point or another it's probably going to bite us in the bum. Today I was bitten. Hopefully, we can start as we mean to go on because realistically it's NOT healthy to have so much screen time & it's going to affect our relationships if we're playing a PS3 game with each other instead of one on one communicating & working together at something. Technology has it's place & it's a wonderful thing but maybe it's time to step back, take a look at how often it's being used & see if we're using our time as wisely as we could be.

- M

Germs, schools, nurseries & children, every parent's kryptonite...

Well, all of the children have been back at school just short of a fortnight & already the germs are a-flying. They've all come home from nursery & school with the cold. Which is fine, a cold is a cold, common & harmless for the most part but still rather unpleasant for everyone involved.

3 year old son has the cold, was up during the night last night coughing & spluttering to the point of vomiting. Tonight, pre-bedtime, he was howling that his ears were hurting. Looks like a trip to the doctors in the morning if it carries on. Poor dude was sobbing & after a dose of paracetamol, fell into a rather unpleasant looking sleep. Sounds of snoring thanks to loads of mucusy crap making for not a very restful sleep for anyone.

15 month old son has the cold, last night turning into a croupy sounding cough (thankfully didn't come to anything) & waking up in pools of snot. Always a good day when you have a baby literally hanging off your leg every time to move because he's feeling to rubbish. Plenty of nursing to give him comfort & make him feel better, leaving dried in snot across my chest & biting due to not being able to breathe through his nose thus hanging on for dear life. Nothing sexier than a snotty cleavage now is there?

10 year old sister has been off school today as her throat has been giving her grief & she's been feeling like crap the past few days but thankfully appears to be on the mend so of the 4 giving me the least to worry about.

8 year old brother is currently feeling it the worst. Since coming home from school we've had coughing, tears, nausea & snot so far. Unfortunately out of the 4 children, he always seems to be the one who complains most when unwell so obviously it's been high drama this evening & is probably going to be a very long night between children. 

As luck would have it, Mummy dearest is nightshift, partner is nightshift & 21 year old brother is asleep in his bed so lo & behold I'm left to deal with the 4 bug ridden children on my own. Fantastic!

I swear it's moments like that which make me seriously wonder why everyone doesn't home school. I bet there would be no sick children. Nurseries & schools seem to be a festering pit of bacteria & all the children are competing with one another to see who can get ill the most often. Between horrendous sickness bugs (always my favourite to deal with - note gratuitous use of sarcasm), chickenpox, colds/flu & *insert other common children's illnesses*, it's driving me batty that out of the 4 there's always at least 1 of them unwell at any given time. Urgh.

Hopefully they'll all be better soon though because however frustrating it is for us Mums & Dads, it's so much worse for the kids to be unwell when there's nothing we can do to help. Looks like a few days of cuddles & rest are in order until everyone is back to their regular selves & being the little weapons of mass destruction that they should be. Now it's time to contemplate whether to stay up crafting & watching telly because one of them will be up soon or go to bed & risk being awoke in half an hours time with a coughing/vomiting/snotty mess.

Wish me luck,

- M 

Peaceful parenting, it's not always so peaceful...

I like to think that I'm a peaceful parent. Most of the time I am pretty easy going, patient, have a long fuse & like to connect with my children & sort out our differences in a fairly gentle manner.

But OH MY GOD sometimes kids really push your buttons.

Picture the scene...

Standing in the kitchen, sweat pouring down your face. You have a 15 month old on your hip while you make a family sized macaroni & cheese (where the sauce takes about a year to thicken), cook sausages in the oven & cook a lentil casserole at the same time. Pretty intense, huh? Add to that said 15 month old has a cold, sorry, man flu & is covered in snot & trying to fight his way down your t-shirt. Deep breathing, stay calm, count to ten.

The heat gets too much, you have to escape the heat into the living room for a breather & proceed to sit down on the couch with the baby & nurse him. No sooner than baby is latched on, all hell breaks loose. 8 year old brother starts fighting with 3 year old son. It's chaos, nobody is listening. You finally break up that fight & 10 year old sister decides she'll be the protector of all children & put on her Supergirl pants & attempts to beat seven shades of shit out of her 8 year old brother. There's a few seconds of calm... The 8 year old springs into action, rising from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix & kicks 10 year old sister thus causing another fight. Meanwhile, attempting to nurse 15 month old, save 3 sets of food from setting the house on fire & becoming virtually unedible, it gets too much. The noise, the chaos, the devastation. *SNAP* That moment where you just can't take any more & end up hollering at the top of your lungs. A-HA! There! Have that, that'll stop you in your tracks. Oh wait, the house is still a sea of entropy. Another holler & another until finally, a wave of calm.

Sitting on the couch, awash with sweat, 15 month old long gone, snot covered & joyful. Clothing disheveled from a failed attempt to breastfeed. Ashamed.

Yes, tonight I took the peace out of peaceful parenting. And any parent out there who can honestly turn around & tell me that they have never had an experience where your children have drove you to the brink of a nervous breakdown, you're either a liar, or I'm delusional in thinking I'm normal.

To all those gentle parents out there who have ever had a "moment", please don't be ashamed or kick yourself. Forgive yourself & embrace these moments, because one day you can look back & laugh at how naive you were those 9 months you thought you'd be a "perfect parent".

- M

Oh & for the record, I ended up eating the lentil casserole cold, the macaroni & cheese was disgusting apparently & W wasn't feeling well so didn't eat the sausages. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. 

First blog entry...

Well this is awkward. It's pretty rare that I'm lost for words but I'm currently at a loss as to how I'm supposed to start this.

I suppose a brief introduction is a good idea.

Hello, I'm Marianne, 24, mother of two. I'm a bit scatty, a bit weird, I love my children & family is my number one priority in life. I'm far from being the perfect mother but I do try my best to be my children's idea of perfect.

We're a (tandem) breastfeeding, part time babywearing, part time clothing bumming, co-sleeping, gentle (well, as gentle as possible) parenting family.

At home there are 8 of us (!). Myself, my partner Billy, our two sons, William (3) & Oliver (1), my Mum & my siblings Charlie (8), Ellie (10) & Jordan (21), so it's a pretty busy house with all sorts of chaos happening on a regular basis with usually my Mum & I trying desperately to hold the whole thing together.

Sounds like fun doesn't it?

Well, now that's done, I might as well get on with it...

Enjoy!